nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
