D3 body, D1 cock
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
