never play flip cup with pint glasses
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
only if we run a train.
done.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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