The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize