...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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