I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
