1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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