dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
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