I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Your dad touched me again.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
