Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
