guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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