she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
