Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I smell like Dick and happiness
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
