We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize