Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
