my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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