I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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