Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
