just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
