found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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