hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
