just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
