She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
