do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize
