look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
40s are totally the cure
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
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