And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
