thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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