Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
