the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
