You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
