I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
