You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
