Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
