Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
