i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
