ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
