apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
