can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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