Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
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