sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
