Just mADE A PArabola og urine
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Drunk is not a location!
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
