i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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