I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
