In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
im holly from the hills drunk
Sober January is a disaster.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
