we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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