Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
