You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
birth control should be required to get into college
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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