Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize