I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
