I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
