i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
