just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
