I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
false alarm. still invincible.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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