i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
