Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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