We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
