3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
