Duck Duck Cougar?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Randomize
