we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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